Block the wet hens at the line of scrimmage

I regret that I am not gifted with the virtue of patience. Or, is it always a virtue? Most of the progress of civilization has come about when patience is at an end.

Recently, I had such patience as I do have, taxed by some of our local stores.

Perhaps I'm strange, but I think there is something basically wrong with having to stand in a long line to give a store your money. I am delighted that Brookshire Bros. will, with the smallest nudge, press someone into service on the cashier line who was working elsewhere in the store. Kudos to Mr. Brown.

However, I went to another store that had a lengthy line with one lone cashier, and said, "Madre mia, are you the only cashier here?'

The harassed cashier told me not to worry about it.

I wasn't worried, I was vexed. I walk poorly, and I stand still even worse. Perhaps stores too cheap to hire adequate cashiers could take a tip from fast food restaurants: provide a place to sit and give us a number.

I expressed the fore-mentioned philosophy and was verbally assailed by a thin, old woman in the parking lot, pronouncing me rude and venting her spleen.

Moi? Rude? Call Ripley. I have seen that in business - you often get what you are willing to settle for.

The citizens of Mexico are renowned for their patience and politeness. I admire them, but I don't want to change places with them. I've been in many large grocery stores in Mexico where lines would make the Guinness Book of Records.

At a store in Jacksonville, I am mid transaction, with cash in hand, the phone rings and the cashier answers it and begins a conversation.

I am there in person, helping to pay her salary. I wonder how she made any money from the inconclusive phone call. When I told her I thought being there in person should take precedence over a telephone call, she said, "Sir, I've got a right to answer the phone."

Silly me, I thought we were talking about a customer's rights, not a clerk's.

She began to tell me how she had 22 years' training in customer service. Was that 22 years, or six months, 44 times? The bottom line is this: Sometimes to get on your way quickly, you need to carp. Often I've had people thank me for speeding things along.

But there is sometimes, in opposition to anything being said, a scrimmage line of wet hens, process people (those unconcerned with outcome who never read a rule they didn't like), and those who enjoy socializing in a line. I've been in Wal-Mart with a very long line of folks who don't feel well trying to get their meds. I'm against this, simple as that.

Don't be an anchor on progress, join the carper's club.