HIGH POINTS FROM EL CAMINO REAL
CHRIS DAVIS elcaminoreal@consolidated.net
Folks along El Camino Real woke up to a frosty Saturday morning when temperatures dipped to around 19 degrees along our old road. The weatherman forecasted that it would be about 24 degrees, but it got way colder than that. I never did trust a weatherman. The groundhog didn't see his shadow and that is supposed to mean an early end to winter. I trust the groundhog just a little more than the weatherman, so I'm optimistic that we will see warmer days soon. I'm not a weatherman or a groundhog, so I better get to hammering out your four bits' worth of news.

I guess the big news around here this week was the Super Bowl on Sunday. East Texans aren't usually that interested in the game if a Texas team isn't playing, but this year was different because Lovie Smith, the coach for the Chicago Bears, is from Big Sandy. East Texans will almost always cheer for the home folks and Big Sandy is close enough that many of us had to cheer for the Bears. They didn't win, but he still represented East Texas well.

It seemed like everywhere you looked there was a big crowd having a Super Bowl Party. I guess we'll use any excuse we can to eat and the Super Bowl is always a good one. I would have hated to have paid good money for one of those stadium tickets and wound up sitting in the rain like those folks in Florida. It seems like they ought to play those games in a dome stadium. Anyway, football season is finally over and it's time for all the kids to start getting out their bats and gloves and starting on the baseball.

I've been hearing about all the odd things people sell on Ebay and have decided to give it a try. I was thinking about selling my half interest in my mother-in-law. My wife and mother-in-law were going to a wedding shower Saturday morning, and the wife had already told me that she wasn't going to be home until early afternoon. I planned to build a big fire in the wood stove and kick back on the couch and read a good book. I had a whole Saturday to do just what I wanted to. When I woke up Saturday morning to the freezing temperatures, I thought, "Well, this is alright because I hadn't planned to do anything but lay by the fire and read a book."

Then the mother-in-law called. She said she had left her car out of the garage and it was all frosted over. I am still trying to figure out why I offered to go to her house and warm her car up before she left. I guess we all have our weak moments. When I got to her house I started the car and loaded her stuff for the shower. As she was coming to get in the car I noticed a stream of water running across the carport, before I could turn my eyes away from where I was looking she noticed it too. I knew a pipe had frozen and burst under the house, I turned off the water to the house. I'm not a plumber and everything was flooded around the broken pipe. It was 22 degrees and I could only imagine how cold that would feel laying in the water trying to fix that pipe. But if she didn't have water she might spend the weekend at my house.

She left for the shower and I headed up to Harry's Building Materials in Rusk for some plumbing supplies. I tried to sell my half interest in her while I was there, but I couldn't get any takers.

My fire burned out at home and I never got a chance to open my book. I thought about the mother-in-law sale some more and decided that I was offering a pretty good deal. A half interest in my mother-in-law could be some lucky person's relief from the stresses of life caused by high gas prices, sky rocketing utility bills, global terrorism and the threat of Iranian nuclear weapons.

These problems wouldn't disappear, but you wouldn't have time to worry about them anymore. In fact in a few months a nuclear attack could almost be viewed as a quick and simple way out of your dilemma.

After I fixed the pipe I decided to go and get her mail while the glue dried. There was a note in her mailbox from the postman stating that she needed a new mailbox with her 911 address on it. I picked up a mailbox and the numbers that evening at Wal-Mart and put it up after church on Sunday. I told her about the note and she said that she didn't think that they could tell her she had to get a new mailbox. I explained that it was the U.S. Post Office and she didn't have a choice. I finished installing the mailbox and she said that it looked nice, but she still didn't think that they should tell her to get a new mailbox if she didn't want one.

I thought a little more about how I should word the sale of my half interest in her on Ebay and decided that potential buyers would want to know which half they were getting. My interest is in the half with the mouth. I will sell on credit, but all deals will be final - whether they pay or not.

As you can see not much happened around Alto this week. The natural gas wells are still springing up all around here, but I haven't acquired any rich kin folks yet. I keep hoping.

If you have good or bad news around your place that needs telling, please give me a call. I'll see ya next week! And remember, It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.